As you may have noticed I have not been regular in my blogging. Espescially these past few months. I could say that it was because I couldn't get time or the computer was giving problems. But the truth was that I was giving myself time. You see I started to blog coz' I just wanted to get my frustrations out and use this blog as a diary of all the daily happenings in this life of mine. But right now I am so emotionally drained that I can hardly think. Theres no me time at all. You see I am homeschooling my 6 yr old and the 3 yr old and the 1 yr old are always up my butt. I run around like a mad women trying to teach, at the same time make sure she keeps up with her quran reading and memorizing. Normally that is what goes on in most houses, but most of their kids are at school most of the time and so they get that 6 or 7 hrs away from them. So when the kids get back from school the mother is a "bit refreshed" term used loosely. So they can run behind their kids to do their HW etc. Where as I am with them 24 by 7. Constantly hearing their naggin, yelling and screaming, hair pulling and tattle telling. It has really taken a toll on me. I have told my husband about it and we will Insha Allah put them in school next year. But till then what do I do? I am totally frustrated and just plain fed up with my life. I feel under appreciated for the amount of work and effort I put in this household. My husband says to plan something for the weekend and I want him and the kids out and me home, I wanna be free. I wanna be able to use the bathroom in peace without having to hear "what r u doing in there?" or be able to comb my hair without having the kids fighting to sit in mommies lap. Am I asking too much or maybe I should just stop dreaming. The problem is I am so irritable and annoyed with the kids, all the time. HELP!!!
BTW--- As I was typing this blog I was interuppted 10 times
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3 comments:
Oh boy! Well, I've been there....my kids are 2 yrs apart....so my first bout of three kids was 4, 2 and newborn. It's not easy.....
You forget yourself, you feel harried...and yes...NEVER go to the bathroom in peace. Sigh.
There is no solution that is magic......the kids have to grow up a bit. But believe me.....now that those same kids are 15, 13 and 11......things are soooo much easier. It's not a strain on the working anymore....now it's a strain on my brain...LOL!
But for NOW......tell ur husband EXACTLY what you posted....and go out with friends. Let him manage.....tell him its important for your sanity. Being a mother means you get a break once in a while.........
I had to comment here...I just had to. Sensible girl, I hear you on the running around chasing the kids and trying to teach the older ones at the same time. It's an impossible task. I read blogs of sisters that homeschool their kids and how together they have it and are so passionate about teaching their kids. I on the other hand feel like I'm such a failure because I can't seem to manage it all. My husband keeps telling me, "keep to a schedule, you'll get more accomplished." It just infuriates me even more coz I feel like I do so much already, and yet I'm still not good enough. Probably why my husband decided to marry another woman. But the worst feeling of all is the feeling that my kids are a burden to me. I hate feeling that way, because I love my kids to bits.
The only thing that's worked for me so far sister is to not beat yourself up if you aren't being the perfect mum. So what if they have a muffin for dinner occasionally, so what if they don't take a bath everyday, so what if they have a tv to babysit them once and a while, so what if you let them cry a little while you take a shower. Coz, I doubt if they'll remember any of it, when they get older. However, they will remember the frustration, the anger perhaps even the abuse(not saying you do, but just speaking generally here). I think those things have more of a lasting effect on young children's minds than a messy, disorganized house. Even with teaching, once a child develops their own desire to learn, you can't stop them from asking all sorts of questions! LOL! Some children just develop an interest at a latter stage than others. Especially since your husband has already agreed to send them to school. Try to teach them enough where they won't be left behind once they do start school. And don't fret about the little things.
I find that we are our own worse critics sometimes, ...oh and the HUSBAND! Don't let them belittle you in any way. Love yourself first and know that you are doing the best you can do. Take care sister....!:)
Peace
Seekerofthetruth aka homeschooling mother of five(6 yrs old, 5 yrs old, 4 yrs old, 2 yr old and an 18 month old), wife to a polygamous husband and taking care of the 18 month old's serious full blown eczema and food allergies; needing 100% attention at all times otherwise she would bleed from head to toe from all the scratching!
safa
Thank you for taking the time and giving some advice. i did tell my husband, not everything, just a little of what I was feeling. I can't tell him eveything at once it might be too much for him to handle (MEN!) Anyway he understood that I was frustrated and said that he will help out with schooling and take the kids to masjid for magrib and isha(not everyday, it's better than nothing RIGHT?)
OH and we are going going away for the weekend, good and bad good coz' no cookin Yeah!! bad coz my we will be staying at my brother in laws (refer to Friday, June 22, 2007 post
I can't think of a title right now)
anyway beggars can"t be chosers!
Seeker of the truth
Asalaamu Alaikum
where have been all this time. u're advice helped mend the pain and frustration I was going through, especially since you r going through the same thing and know what I am talking about(the homeshcooling and stuff)
visit often could use u're insight on things.
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