Washing the dead....

Yesterday, my friend asked if I could come and help wash the body of a muslim sister who had died. At first I was like WHAT!!! you want me to what??? Then I came to my senses, and thought what will happen to my body when I die, will there be anybody to wash my body when I die? So I told her okay I would help but I've never done it before. She told me she would teach me, she couldn't do it because she was on her periods. So she took me to the funeral home where the body was. There was 4 of us 2 from the deceased's family and me and another friend. I thought I would freak out when I would see the body, but honestly I was okay about it, it looked like she was sleeping. When we started, I had to lift her hand it was so stiff. I was surprised, I hadn't realized how much the body changes after death, it was like lifting a statue or something. I remember the friend that was teaching us kept saying "be careful" and "be gentle". Even though she's dead she can still feel everything that is being done to her body. I was mentally fine until the shrouding part came, the kamees,scarf etc., all were placed, then the last part(that's what got me all shaken up) the last piece of the shroud the face and entire body was covered and 3 pieces of cloth were used to tie up the body. I was by the body's feet, so I didn't see them tie the top portion, but when I looked up my eyes popped out and that's when I started to get teary eyed. That was it her life is done all wrapped up and ready to be put in the grave. All the jewelry that she owned, her wealth all gone. She can not take anything with her. The only thing with her was her deeds. Make dua for her, may Allah grant her Jannah. Ameen.

It makes me wonder why I strive so hard to get the best house or car, when in the end there will only be enough room for my body in the qabr. May allah grant us ease in the grave and easy reckoning on qiyamaat. And grant us Jannah.
AMEEN!!!

Ramadan Mubarak!

I want to wish you all Ramadan Mubarak.
Insha Allah remember me in your Dua's.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ..to me

Yes today is my wedding anniversary. I didn't even realize it till iI looked at the calendar. My husband is out of town, so it's really not much of an anniversary. So I will just be like its like its a normal day. (sigh)

I'm back

I know it's been a long time ....
I was away at my parents, I got back a couple of weeks ago. Now just trying to get things back in order. There's alot things going on in my head, hurt, disappointment anger, loneliness. All these things can all be cured by asking Allah. The problem is I'm not. My Iman has gone down , I'm not the same. I am not regular in my weekly halaqa's that I ususally go evey week. I guess I am kinda fed up with the sisters here, there fakeness and lack of sisterhood in this community.
In time, with dua and patience, I will get pass this phase that I am in. I could use some support. Insha Allah will provide

Insha Allah I will write more about what's been going on.