I took my daughter to a class trip , she's in 1st grade at a virtual school. So she was really excited about meeting her teacher and other kids in her grade. It was at a science museum. Anyway my car alarm was giving me problems, so I asked a ride from a friend who's son is in my daughter's grade she was like okay. She picked me up at around 8:30 and as soon as we got there she took her kids out and said she had to return some books at the museum library and she would meet me inside. I hadn't gotten all my kids , so I told her to wait a sec and we'll go together, since I was not familiar with the museum. I mean it was her car wouldn't she want to make sure it was locked? She was acting strange. After I got the kids in the stroller, she started walking ahead of me, I was like why didn't she want to walk with me? So she tells me she will go in the library to return the books, I said okay. I was waiting for outside. After she finished rather then coming up to me she starts to the front entrance of the museum( where everybody was supposed to meet) I was like kind feeling weird like she was trying to get rid of me.. Like she was embarassed to be with me.
You see I wear niqab and she just wears a scarf ,pant and shirt. We've never been out together its always my house,hers or another friends. This was our 1st outing together in public. I had no idea she felt this way. She should've just that she couldn't take or she could've just taken my daughter. All that could've and should've didn't happen instead I was the one hurt. Not because she was dissin me, but the fact that she was a muslim and treated another muslim that way. My next door neighbor is a white american and she's always telling to go on walks with around the neigborhood with her and our kids. Obviously she doesn't cover and I am fully covered. and that doesn't seem to bother her. JUST WHY WAS MY FRIEND SO BOTHERED ABOUT THAT.
Sometimes I wonder about muslims who think and behave like my friend. Do they think people wont stare at them, even if the are just wearing a scarf on their head. It doesn't matter if people stare any less at you for just wearing a scarf but you shouldn't make another feel disrespected for covering more. Me personally I don't think I am any better than one who doesn't cover. Actually Some of my good friends don't wear niqab and we respect each other's wishes. And spend time with each other outside of the house in public and never thought what others might think of us. I thought that my friend who took me to museum felt the same.
MY BAD.
Any way life goes on , I guess I'm just sensitive that way. After that incident we've met up a couple times at get togethers. but I just felt uncomfortable. You know you don't how to behave after an incident like that.
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8 comments:
Similar events have happened to me. It is such an awful feeling. I don't understand why these people don't say something or at least act normal. If you can't do one of those two things then don't go out in public with me. I'd rather be alone then feel alone when in company.
I am sorry this happened to you. May Allah reward you with good dear friend.
aww, i'm sorry to hear that..
I am surprized you're a niqabi! May Allah 'azza wa jal reward you.
BTW- I tagged you!, chk my post!
assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
Subhan'Allah, it's terrible how you get more respect from the non muslims than the muslims sometimes.
May Allah reward you sister and bring the Muslims back to the character of the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (SAW).
Great blog sis!
That wasn't nice of your friend.
Reminds of something I heard on NPR a while ago during the Jack Straw fiasco (in Britain). The host of the show was more sympathetic to the niqabi women than the indignant hijabi caller who was so furious about their very existence. He was puzzled as to why she can't be tolerant towards her own sisters in religion when at the same time she asks everyone to be tolerant of her own religious views?
Have you tried quietly and candidly discussing this with her? Not in a confrontational way (or involving an argument of how a Muslim woman should dress), but simply as "I've been hurt: can you explain yourself?". Be careful not say "YOU'VE hurt me". Immediately accept her apologies (if she does) without any further elaborations. Don't get angry if she doesn't apologize and tries to defend herself. You're not asking for a debate or an apology: you're just giving her feedback about your feelings. That's all.
agadir_girl
I totally agree. people can be really hurtful at times.
young muslimah
thanks for your support, why r u surprised that i wear a niqab?
Sourthern muslimah- umm yusuf
"Subhan'Allah, it's terrible how you get more respect from the non muslims than the muslims sometimes."
I KNOW!!! ( the way Monica from FRIENDS would say it)
Thanks for your support, checked out your blog, will be regular.
Sobia
no it wasn't very nice it's like you've been stung by a bee, sting still hurts.
joe king gas eyed
I thought about telling her, then I thought about our friendship I decided that I should just let it go, coz' if she was really a friend she would not have behaved this way. Since she did behave this way, I think it would be just a waste of time and then we would just be uncomfortable at get togethers and stuff.
Assalamu Alaikum!
Yes its really sad, the adab of many of the muslims today. May Allah rectify your friend and guide her to what is correct.Ameen
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